Love of all Kinds


I question love quite frequently – Not the love for my family, but the existence of a deep, enduring and romantic love versus the comfortable and practical sort of love that I typically encounter.

While engaged in a long conversation with a girlfriend about love, the history of love, the future of love and the rules of love I made the cynical comment that maybe expecting less from romantic love was in the end, better. “Would you really want that Jennifer? Less? I sure as hell wouldn’t” she retorted.

After listening to my blabbering on about the existential realities of profound love she referred to an article she had read recently and suggested that what I was comparing were life-partners, whom we love sweetly and safely and romantic soul-partners, who we love at a deeper, earth-shattering and often uncomfortable level. Certainly one was easier than the other and they both can go on for decades. Though which is truly better? I guess it depends on the one who’s doing the comparing…

I’ve observed thousands of couples throughout my years and travels. For every one couple I have come across that I believed held the secret recipe for the earth-shattering, moving-mountains kind of love, there have been a hundred other couples who find their happiness in the practical, safe, albeit less passionate kind of love.

The majority of married women I’ve met, upon finding out that I am single (and after trying to set me up with so-and-so who’d be “perfect” for me) tell me the same thing – “Oh if something ever happened to {insert male name here} and I, sure I’d be sad, but I’d never marry or live with a man again. I don’t want to have to clean another man’s underwear/ cook for him / take care of him/ blah blah, again. You’re so lucky to not have to deal with it all.”

And then, once in a great while, I meet a married women who upon finding out that I am single says nothing. When she makes no comments about how lucky I am or how she would never marry again I ask her the question other women answer without being asked – “What would you do if {insert male name here} died or left you?” These women, so very few of them, answer with a deeply honest and very profound, “I would be devastated.”

Such an obvious disparity –

Our conversation of love and the existence of such loves went on for at least an hour, maybe more. I won’t use up the blog space to give every detail, but after it ended she sent me the link to a PBS interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono on “Love.” John wasn’t always a good man to women, but he certainly loved his oddly matched artist Yoko, in a very controversial, very passionate and very earth-shattering (much to the dismay of many) of ways.

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7 thoughts on “Love of all Kinds

    • That was hysterical and a little gross, yet a passionately sweet love song. I owe you two thank yous now – One for the introduction of Tim Minchin and one for the Fernando Pessoa (whom I’m enjoying immensely!)

      • I’m almost envious of you. Minchin’s shows will provide you hours of fun, I’m sure. As for thank yous, let’s not go there, please. Otherwise I’d have to thank you for Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet, of which I think the juice is how to embrace existential solitude, and ended up by juxtaposing it with your article Love in times of gorging, in particular with its ending, “(…) I’ve picked up a novel. And I like it.” But I really don’t want to go there. Please.

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